Want to know what's up?

I saw my brother last night. I saw him twice in my dreams. He was not a mere memory he was there, with all the love and strength that is him. In my first dream I was hiking along a river. Some place I'd never been, I stopped to rest and admire the water cascading through the boulders creating miniature waterfalls. And then he was there, standing beside me. I hugged him. I hugged him so tight, I wanted to hold onto him with all that I am. I could feel his hug, I physically felt his arms wrap around me, I could feel the strength in them. The hardness of his chest as I pressed my face into it. I held him so tight, I told him I would never let go. I wanted to hold him forever. But an unspoken truth loomed between. We both knew it was only brief, just a moment to connect and it would be gone too quickly. I feel that we spoke with our hearts, but the only verbal thing he said to me was "It's cold here." And shortly thereafter he was gone.

I saw him again later. In this dream I was taking Lilli to her first day of kindergarten. We were walking into the school, it was very crowded with students and their parents. But amidst all these people, I see my brother walking to me. I run up and hug him. I try again to hold onto him with all my might. I hold him so tight to me wishing I could keep him from slipping away. But we both know that can never be no matter how tightly we hold each other. Again we talk with out speaking, both of us more willing to accept that he can't stay, and again the only verbal thing he says is "It cold here." And shortly thereafter he is gone again.

My understanding of what he said is this, he was cold when he came to see me. Not that it was cold were he was.
You can call it a dream, or whatever you want. I don't really care, I know what I felt with my heart.

posted by doingwhatilove @ 1:17 PM