Want to know what's up?

Women will always find something to talk about. I am feeling friendsick lately. I want an adult friend to come over and talk for hours with me with no cares, but just to hang out. I have a dear friend who may be able to come visit, but it's a hopeful maybe. So this morning I asked one of the mom's I had befriended at the bus stop if she wanted to come over and have coffee with me. She said sure, but she had to go home and take care of a few things first. That was all good, because I realized after I got back home that my house wasn't as clean as I thought. So I did a few chores (and now I can just sew instead of cleaning first), made the coffee, and made myself some breakfast. Her and her son showed up and, after getting settled in, the boys began to play while us mom's had coffee and sausage gravy w/ biscuits. I was thinking before she showed up, what were we going to talk about, but I told myself to relax and not over analyze, women always find something to talk about.

And we did. She's a stay home mom, who's decided that even part time is too much time away from her family. (Sound familiar?) I actually feel more relaxed hanging out with her, than my other neighbor. While we both have things that have to get done, we aren't as rushed or time constrained to do them. My other neighbor is a single mom who works full time, and is going to school. I feel that she has broken up each day (weekends are exceptions sometimes) into time slots and certain things have to be done in this allotted times, or the schedule is all off whack. I can understand the whys and what fors, but it feels like she has almost no time to socialize. And perhaps she doesn't. It's got to be hard, and I just count my blessings that much more. I am so thankful for the life I have. I pray that I will never have to follow the road she is taking, the same road my dear sis is just starting on. It makes me want to make my "bubble" that much stronger.

One of the things we were talking about was the tension we feel driving the freeway at night, especially when it's raining. I told her I knew exactly what she was talking about, but that I never used to have that problem driving the country back roads. I recalled when I used to live at home when Jen was a babe, and I used to drive my bro to work at 11ish at night. How it was always a peaceful time and I actually looked forward to it each night. I almost started crying just thinking about that special time I had with him. But I felt if I cried, I'd have to explain why, and I didn't want to. I realize now that when I talk about my siblings, I will talk about Jon, but I never mention that he's passed. I feel that it is in violation of his memory for those I talk to to know he took his life. Don't feel sorry for me, don't feel sorry him, I just want you to know this that I tell you about him.

I think I shall sew....

posted by doingwhatilove @ 11:50 AM