A little funny...
Just as I finished that post I see Lil run into the kitchen with her sister's wallet. Hey, that's not yours. I wonder to myself if she could open it, and then I realize she's chewing on something. I take the wallet and make her spit out what's in her mouth, it was Jen's dollar. She earned it by scooping poo in the neighbor's yard. Now imagine if Lil had swallowed it....LOL!!!!! I can almost picture the conversation...Jen: Mom, where's my dollar? Me: Your sister ate it. Jen: WHAT!? Can't you get it back?
Me: WHAT?!
Some torches shouldn't pass
I woke up this morning to the staccato beat of raindrops on the metal fan vent. I started to enjoy the luxuriousness of a rainy day. I enjoy the peace they bring, the cooler temperatures, the snuggle factor they induce (cup of cocoa/coffee, your love, a blanket, a book, whatever you choose), and the calm enjoyment I get from sewing with the window open on a rainy day...
But then I started thinking about all the did I's or are there's...example:
Did I shut the car door all the way?
Did the kids bring the toys in from outside?
Are there things outside that shouldn't get wet?
Did the garage door get closed?
Arrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!
So I get out of my warm bed, and wander out into the rain into the garage. Barefoot I step into a large puddle of water. The garage rook leaks in two spots. The door is wide open and I can see the only thing the kids brought inside were the rakes. I turn to close the door and look at the source of the leaks. I realize that the roof will not make it through another rainy winter, and the bitch inside proceeds to rear her ugly head. As I tromp back to bed I find myself getting mad at my husband for not re-roofing this summer. Isn't that why we asked for an additional $500 off the price of the house, so we could afford a roof? Always putting stuff off, waiting to take care of job, and the bitch gets in my head and makes me more irritable. Sanity and calm stepped in my head for a moment and made me remember that we did not have the $$ to re-roof. We had already drained savings with the purchase of the house. Suppose, they said to me, you had re-roofed, then the car's water pump went out, then the rear differential. You would have practically emptied savings, and still had that car payment each month along with the bill to fix it. I start to feel better and let my feelings of frustration and resentment subside. Okay, it's no biggie we'll take care of it. But the bitch inside had just started to acquire her strength, and she wasn't giving up. She ran over sanity and calm with a big ole steam roller of anger, and I consequently I woke up "on the wrong side of the bed".
I explained to Derek that I thought we should re-roof the garage because it won't make it through the winter. He said that it'd propably run a few hundred, and perhaps we could tarp until then. Yeah, except that's not aesthetically pleasing and there's no way the community managers would let us. I told him that I wanted to go buy some large garbage cans to put under the leaks. He said why, there's a bucket out there? I didn't recall a bucket, it's supposed to rain all week, and I didn't want to be out there every few hours bailing water. And thus the bitch torch was passed...
Once you pass it, you can't take it back. That person is off and running with the bitch infiltrating their thoughts. You try to make the situation better, you change your attitude, but it's all in vain. Darn it!
Have you got the time...
It started this morning when I was contemplating how to heat up yesterdays coffee instead of throwing it out and making fresh. The key is to warm slowly and not boil, right? And then I realized that is exactly how a double boiler works. Yep, this morning I heated my leftover coffee with a double boiler whilst making myself blueberry pancakes. Real blueberry. And it occured to me, that while this was good, who else had the time?
So here are some things I do....because I have the time:
1. I heat my leftover coffee in a double boiler. Much tastier, and definitely not bitter.
2. Make pancakes or waffles (yep have the time to make waffles) with real blueberries (albeit sometimes frozen)
3. Blogging
4. Willingly go to 3 grocery stores to keep with in my food budget
5. Buy whole chickens and cut them up myself, or buy bone in and de-bone and de-skin myself.
6. Make my own baked goods, and yes sometimes bread.
7. Sew clothes, costumes, etc (though this also my relaxation and enjoyment)
8. Read a book during the day
9. Sit here and think about things that I do because I have the time
Women will always find something to talk about. I am feeling friendsick lately. I want an adult friend to come over and talk for hours with me with no cares, but just to hang out. I have a dear friend who may be able to come visit, but it's a hopeful maybe. So this morning I asked one of the mom's I had befriended at the bus stop if she wanted to come over and have coffee with me. She said sure, but she had to go home and take care of a few things first. That was all good, because I realized after I got back home that my house wasn't as clean as I thought. So I did a few chores (and now I can just sew instead of cleaning first), made the coffee, and made myself some breakfast. Her and her son showed up and, after getting settled in, the boys began to play while us mom's had coffee and sausage gravy w/ biscuits. I was thinking before she showed up, what were we going to talk about, but I told myself to relax and not over analyze, women always find something to talk about.
And we did. She's a stay home mom, who's decided that even part time is too much time away from her family. (Sound familiar?) I actually feel more relaxed hanging out with her, than my other neighbor. While we both have things that have to get done, we aren't as rushed or time constrained to do them. My other neighbor is a single mom who works full time, and is going to school. I feel that she has broken up each day (weekends are exceptions sometimes) into time slots and certain things have to be done in this allotted times, or the schedule is all off whack. I can understand the whys and what fors, but it feels like she has almost no time to socialize. And perhaps she doesn't. It's got to be hard, and I just count my blessings that much more. I am so thankful for the life I have. I pray that I will never have to follow the road she is taking, the same road my dear sis is just starting on. It makes me want to make my "bubble" that much stronger.
One of the things we were talking about was the tension we feel driving the freeway at night, especially when it's raining. I told her I knew exactly what she was talking about, but that I never used to have that problem driving the country back roads. I recalled when I used to live at home when Jen was a babe, and I used to drive my bro to work at 11ish at night. How it was always a peaceful time and I actually looked forward to it each night. I almost started crying just thinking about that special time I had with him. But I felt if I cried, I'd have to explain why, and I didn't want to. I realize now that when I talk about my siblings, I will talk about Jon, but I never mention that he's passed. I feel that it is in violation of his memory for those I talk to to know he took his life. Don't feel sorry for me, don't feel sorry him, I just want you to know this that I tell you about him.
I think I shall sew....
Want to know what's up?
School's going well for Jen. She still doesn't like getting up in the morning, but I doubt that will ever change.
I have made "friends" with another neighbor, and she has two young children. Jen has made friends with her daughter, and I think Aid will soon make friends with her son. I put it "friends" because while I figure soon that is what I will consider them, I'm not sure what they will consider me. I have a hard time trying to figure out if I'm being a nuisance or just being normal. I feel that if I give them their space then I'm a homebody. And if I visit or chat I'm being that pesky puppy that won't leave you alone. That may just be my perception, but I do try to balance it. Highschool's so much easier, everybody's doing the same thing during the day, and you just hang out between classes.
So I took my machine in and it's all tuned up. The lady who carried it out to the car asked me if I wanted her to put it in the trunk. I said "No thank you, it is my preeeshhhhussss" (Think Golem LOTR) I strapped that baby in the front seat!!
My husband says we can get guinea pig(s) if Jen and I keep up our chores for 2 weeks. This week's almost over, YIPEEEE! I've kept up on my end, Jen's needed some extra prodding.
I made bread (the right way) the other day. I meant it to be used for sandwiches for the week, but it was so good we ate both loaves in two days. Speaking of sandwiches, here's some yummy:
Grilled cheese sandwiches made with Monterey Jack cheese dipped in tomato soup liberally sprinkled with lemon pepper.
Mouth is watering, and I already ate that for lunch.
Well, I have my machine after a week w/o. You know what that means. SEW SEW SEW!
School's in session
Jen started school this morning. I took her in with our two tag alongs (that made it a hassle), and got her all settled in. Well, as settled as she could be. New school, new student, and seated between two boys. Poor kid. You could tell that she was mustering all she had to keep the tears from falling. It wasn't until I gave her hug goodbye. But a few tissues and a pep talk later I was finally able say goodbye.
What frustrates me is that I registered Jen for school at the beginning of registration time, and filled out an application for reduced price lunches. I didn't get any information back from the school or nutrition services. So this morning I had to go the cafeteria and pay for todays lunch. I told the lady taking payments that I had applied for reduced lunches, but that nutrtion services didn't send me any information yet. She said that if we qualify, there will be no cost. I guess the reduced are free.
Also, if it hadn't been for my neighbor next door I wouldn't have even know what bus Jen rode. So lame!!!!! I did go on the districts website, and the schools website(which sucks, NO pertinent information, like school starts at _:__ and gets out at _:__) My neighbor received all her info in the mail, so WTF!
Oh, yeah, and stupid me forgot the camera. But I think that's okay because it would have been a tearful picture.
I'm hungry and I want coffee. I also have to finish cleaning. I hung out with Lizard all weekend, but it was worth it. : )
Speaking of tearful things, Aid asked me this morning if he would go to school w/ Jen when he is five. I said, yes, thinking that it would be awhile before that. And then I realized that no, it would be next school year. Time flies too fast.
