Our hike
My bro just hanging out.
Hurry and take the picture, we're getting wet.
This is Elowah Falls in the Columbia Gorge.
Last Saturday the kids, my brother, his friend, and I went hiking. I found this hike on the computer, and realized I need to invest in a hiking book. It was a fairly short hike, 1.6 miles round trip, but a good starting hike for the season. We walked a little past the waterfall and found a picnic table to have lunch. Aidan then decided to do a little hiking of his own and took off back towards the waterfall. I wish I could have been invisible just to keep him safe, yet still get to see how far he would have gone by himself. The trail we were on, had we continued, would take us to Wahclella Falls. That's about 6.5 miles one way. I'm saving that for another day.
life
Ever have a dream that just puts you in a "mood" all the next day. My dream should not be doing this to me, it was irrelevant and made no sense but I know I awoke from it scared. I switched positions with my child so that I could lay next to my husband and feel the protection of his warmth and embrace. It was too brief because shortly after he rolled over. Maybe that is what is bothering me. Not the dream itself, just the lack of comforting I felt I needed. I want to curl up on the couch and do nothing, maybe cry a little, but just sit there. I can't, I took yesterday off and the house shows it. I think about Jon and my heart aches a little more. I know he is on a journey, I know time is different for him, but I wish he would visit me in my dreams.
Sometimes I look at my kids and try to imagine what it was like for my parents as we were growing up. One thing that really gets me is when my children are playing wildly and loudly. Somehow as a parent all you hear is the noise decibel. You don't take the time to hear the laughter or see the smiles on their faces. You're concentrating on something else and the noise is irritating. I find my anger and frustration building as time after time I tell them to calm down, don't do that, stop being so loud. I found myself like that this morning, but somewhere inside of me a voice said, wait, stop and listen. Then I saw not noise, but that my kids, all three, were playing a fun game of chase/tug a war. All three were smiling and laughing, they were being kids. Having fun. Where did I forget that? Where did I turn off the ability to see the world through the eyes of a child? Suddenly all my frustration melted away, who cares if they make some noise, they are playing nicely having fun.
I want to quit work. I can't though because I have insurance, and my husbands doesn't start until September. I also like having some pocket money, although it's gone so quickly because I've been working the bare minimum to keep insurance. I need to talk to my boss and explain to him why I've cut my hours. I don't want him to think that I'm taking advantage of the offer he gave me. I appreciate the getting out of the house part, but lately I've just wanted to hang with my family. I guess right now I just appreciate the ability to stay home more.
Weather is nice, a beautiful spring day. It actually makes you want to do things, instead of just sitting on your butt. Aid decided he wanted to make cupcakes, so that's what we are doing right now. He's waiting for them to bake by watching a favorite movie, H.P Goblet of Fire. Lilli has searched the house for me, finally found me and begged for me to sit down and nurse. I really want to get some skirts and pants cut out for Jen. I finished my nieces b-day present about 2wks ago, but don't have the right box to ship it. I work tonight so hopefully I will remember to grab one. (I forgot on Sun) Not much new is happening, but I can definitely say I enjoy the stress free vibe I get from my husband because of his new job. Well got stuff to do, spring fever I guess.
Answer
I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you
while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break I won't bend
It'll all be worth it worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
I feel that this post is for my sister's Lee and Liz. But for some reason mostly Liz, open your heart and disregard what your mind is telling you cannot be. He'll come when you are ready.
It'll be a good day
Today shall be a good day I think. I have the day off, and the whole day before me. I am watching a friends' 5 month old, he is great entertainment for my youngest. I plan to do the dishes (with the dishwasher of course), a few loads of clothes, and hopefully get some sewing done in between. I still have a birthday present for my niece that is in a few too many pieces. I just wish I didn't get interrupted so much, it'd probably be done by now otherwise.
I feel energetic and sound. I have come to realize that I can stop ignoring the message my heart is telling me, and accept it. This make me feel relieved as though a huge weight has been lifted. I appreciate those around me who are reaching out to find answers and in turn sharing their answers with me.
Yes, I think today shall be a good day. And I wish all others will have the same. For now I must get my oldest ready for school.
