What I love about Christmas
Okay, I know what Christmas is really all about, but you have to admit that it's nice to get gifts. And one thing I really love about Christmas is when someone asks you what you want and you don't have to feel guilty for wanting things. My husband asked me what I wanted, I said a jacket. He said what else, I said nothing I just need a jacket with a hood. Make a list was his response. A list? Hell, I just need a jacket. But he wants a list of what I WANT. Things I can ask for and not feel guilty about splurge items. How nice.
Lil is rubbing her eyes, and desperately trying to attack the keyboard, so I think we had better sign off. Good night.
Everyone wants to run sometimes
There are days, hell sometimes weeks when all I really want to do is just run away. To leave behind a fussy baby, a testing the limits, disodbedient 2 yr old, and the mouth smacking attitude of a 5 yr old. AAARRRGGGHHHHH! Sometimes I wonder why I wanted this mess, what the heck was I thinking?! The house is dirty, clothes are piling up, kids are screaming, "hey honey, what's for dinner" comes from the husband-human being sitting on the computer. Just do it I tell myself. Don't think about the details, the "why can't you's?", just suck it up and get to work. Because that's what it is right? A 24-7, 365 job. Strictly volunteer basis, no bonuses, but there are times when those perks are worth it. And then there are times, like recently, when you're like screw the F**KING perks I want out.
However if I take the time to think about where I would be with out all this, I don't see myself happy. I realize how empty my life would be, and how much I truly love my family. And when the older ones are in bed, and that baby is sleeping in your arms you know, you know that all in all it's worth it. Now if I could just put them to bed at 6:30 in the evening.LOL
The cutest things...
One reason I enjoy my children so much is they show me the greatness of life's simple things. Whether it be watching a squirrel as it dashes madly about storing nuts for winter. Or knowing that it's no laundry basket it's a car, "bye mom" and they can drive anywhere they want in it. Sometimes it's just sitting in the kitchen with a mixing bowl and spoon helping mommy "cook". Whenever I'm at work and need to smile I think of my 5 yr old. "Mommy will you read me the crocka-gator story." Is it a crocodile or an alligator, she doesn't know so she covers all the bases. I'm laughing just thinking of it.
My most recent funny story straight from the tales with a 2yr old boy:
Jen wakes me up one morning and says "Mommy where's Aid?" Groggily I reply "Uh, whaaat?" "Where's Aid?" Next thing we hear is this giggling coming from Lil's portable bassinet I have next to my side of the bed. Jen lifts the blanket off it a bit and we see this one eye looking up at us. Aid laughs and says"Mommy get me cereal?" I tell him yes, then I hear this crinkling plastic sound. He throws back the covers and pulls out the bag of Marshmallow Mateys. "Mommy get me cereal?" I laugh, because I realize that he either woke up really late the night before or really early that morning, got the cereal, and when he couldn't roust me out of sleep, crawled in the bassinet with it and pulled the covers over his head. F.Y.I. Lil was not in the bassinet, she was with me.
Well, as I write this Lil is sitting in my lap. I think she has finally consented to going to bed, so we are off.
I'm so proud of myself
Once again I am writing this on very little sleep. This time it is for an entirely different reason. The kids and I do what's called Survivor Night with friends. Every week of Survivor we go to a different friends house for dinner and then watch the show. Each week it rotates houses and the hostess for that week prepares the main course while everyone else brings a side dish. It's a great way to have fellowship and actually get to talk with adults. Last night the main course was meatloaf. Normally I love meatloaf, but this recipe was off. I still ate the large portion I had given myself because with enough ketchup it was okay. When we came home I fed my 5 month old and put her to bed. Then I proceeded to finish sewing the balaclava's I had promised my husband and his friend they would have for work tomorrow. (They work in an semi-unheated shop doing stone polishing, etc.)
About one hour later my little one woke up crying fairly loudly. So fed her again and put her back to bed. Then my 5 yr old who had been coughing this whole time started crying out for mommy. I go into her room and she has puke on her face, and says "I threw up from coughing." Yuck! I send her to the bathroom to clean up and instruct her to use the toilet if she feels like puking again. I strip her sheets, grab her pillow (thank God is puke free!!), some extra blankets, a large mixing bowl, and set her up on the couch. I give her some cough medicine and head back to sewing. Half an hour later my 5mo. old starts crying again. So I go in there again, and feed her again. While I'm nursing I can hear my 5 yr. old having another coughing/puking fit. Then she comes to tell me about the contents of the bowl "Mommy there's meatloaf and corn, and.." I tell her I really don't want to know. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK! I try to set my baby down, but she is fussy and obviously uncomfortable. So we go into the living room to ensure that my husband gets his sleep. Mind you it is now 12:30ish. Admist the farting and the burping (from baby and mommy) the coughing and the crying I still get the balaclava's done. However, every hour on the hour almost, little one wakes up in gassy pain. I soothe her, give her gas drops and we doze off for few minutes before she wakes up again. I blame it on the meatloaf because nothing else we ate has ever given us gas like that.
So you're probably wondering how this makes me proud of myself. Well, I have been known to become a VERY irritable grouch on so little sleep. However, not once did I lose my temper with either child last night. I did not become frustrated and feel like screaming at how gross the puking was, or how annoying the crying gassiness was. And to top it all off, my 5 yr old woke me up at 9:45 (not that I was really asleep) and asked me if she was going to miss her bus. Her bus comes at 10:30. Somehow I got it together enough to dress and feed my 2 yr old, dress and feed my 5 mo. old, and have my 5 yr bathed, dressed, fed, hair combed and teeth brushed, AND out to the bus on time, all with out getting frustrated and losing my cool. Yep, I am one proud parent.
Marriage is all about...love?
Oh my, I think if I looked in a mirror right now my eyes would be puffy and have dark circles underneath. Last night I came home late from work, I work until 9 and I got home at 9:40. As soon as I walk in the door I can tell that Derek is upset. Jen and Aid are sitting on the couch which is the first sign that they have been irritating him. I apologize for being late, although I'm really not, and he tells me 9:30 is the latest I can come home from work. "I'm about ready to pull my hair out. Aid is driving me nuts, Jen won't stop talking and Lil has been crying for the past 2 hrs." I decide right then and there that I will keep my mouth shut. Derek is in a foul mood, and he begins to vent his frustrations. Primarily with state of the house, and my lack of keeping it clean. My job is getting in the way, and maybe I should reconsider having one. "I can't understand how someone can do nothing for 8 hrs." Meaning that I obviously do nothing while he is at work. I admit his frustrations with the house are only about 65% true. I could do better, but I also don't sit on my butt all day. I have two choices in my mind, 1. Clean house all day and not play with my kids, or 2. Do a few chores and spend my free time hanging out with my kids and getting a little sewing done. Easy answer, kids come first. But I kept my mouth shut because I knew it would just start an argument, and I know he needs to vent. If I had an defense for everything he said, then eventually he just wouldn't vent at all and then he would be no fun to live with. So instead I told him to just go to bed, and then I proceeded to stay up until 2:00am cleaning the house. (well, I couldn't vacuum because it was so late) Hence, the eyes.
So we bought a fake tree. I can't believe I relented, but Derek had a good point. We always go to my parents for Christmas, and therefore don't need a tree, but he doesn't want the kids to grow up with out a tree. Point well taken. It's actually pretty nice and after rebate is only $30. Originally $60. I have so much sewing to do for Christmas presents, but I seem to be getting things done in a timely manner and shouldn't be rushed close to quitting time.
Well, I should probably go. Still need to get the kiddos breakfast. Then vacuum.
